Life Lessons
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Stuck Points Suck…Or Do They?

I always hated those times I felt stuck. No matter how long they lasted, or how quickly they passed, these were always very dark, dreaded periods.

But that was before I realized: every Stuck Point has a purpose.

I was in the gym, working out with a new trainer, about to do a chest press with no added weight. I lay flat on my back, grabbed the bar, pushed it high above my body, lowered it to just above my chest, then lifted it back up, repeating the exercise 12 times.

No problem. It was easy.

Then my trainer added 5 pound weights to each end of the bar. I felt the difference immediately.

By the second repetition, my arms were quivering. The third time I lowered the bar to my chest, it wouldn’t budge.

I strained. I struggled. I was clearly stuck. My ego felt deflated. My trainer saw it differently.

“That’s how you build muscles,” he explained, “by getting past the stuck point.”

In the next couple of weeks, I could do 12 reps without flinching. But rather than let me bask in my glory, my trainer added more weight.

And sure enough, I was instantly at a new stuck point.

At that moment, the weights became an obvious metaphor for life.

Getting past my stuck points helped me grow stronger, build confidence and experience higher levels of achievement.

When I got past my stuck points I discovered new possibilities I could never have predicted.


If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

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The Trinity of Trust

Years ago, I lost most of my money because I didn’t trust me to manage it. Instead I trusted a man who wasn’t trustworthy. But after my divorce, I had to take action. I had to start trusting myself. That’s when I created what I’ve come to call the Trinity of Trust.

To build a firm foundation of trust, I spent time connecting with each point on the triangle.

  • I spent time alone with myself (A) exploring my innermost thoughts, appreciating who I was.
  • I connected with others (B)who would support, educate and encourage me.
  • And I made time to commune with (C) my Soul, my Higher Power through prayer and meditation, listening to my intuition.

I found these 3 elements extraordinary helpful. But to sustain my trust, I took one more step. I drew a circle around this Trinity.

This was a sacred circle, an impenetrable boundary. I’d let no one inside the circle that didn’t respect, appreciate and support me. No pessimists, naysayers or worry warts allowed.
Nor would I let myself fall prey to my own anxiety or panic.

Every time life gets out of whack, as it will, I go back inside that circle and connect to each point of the Trinity. No matter how tumultuous life becomes, I am able to experience peace. I know I can trust myself…as long as I honor my boundaries.


If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

Do the Hard Work Do The Scary Stuff

Feel the Fear

If I had to point to the most important secret I learned from interviewing six-figure women, it would have to be this. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

These women were supremely confident. But they weren’t fearless. Quite the contrary.

Beneath their confident exteriors lurked layers of insecurity. Every woman admitted grappling with feelings of inadequacy, incompetence, and fear. I was stunned by how many felt like a fraud and were afraid others would find out.

That’s exactly how I felt. The only difference between them and me, I realized, was simply this—they did not let fear stop them. They felt the dread. Had the doubts. And did it anyway.

So guess what I began doing? How about you?


If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

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Never Invest Unless…

Decades ago, soon after I divorced my gambling husband, a friend of my father’s called. He told me about a Limited Partnership he was forming, TJ Cinnamons (A fast food place).

I had no idea what a limited partnership was, but this man was very wealthy, very smart, very successful, so it had to be a great thing, right?

I didn’t know that you can’t take your money out of a limited partnership because there’s no market for it. When TJ Cinnamons went under, I lost my investment.  Then I made a very smart decision. I vowed I’d never invest in anything I didn’t understand.

I’ve come to call this the First Law of Investing: Never put money in anything you don’t understand, whether it’s a stock, bond or the market itself. Not only do you not know what you’re buying, but you can’t evaluate the information to know if it’s time to sell.


If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

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Why Is Change So Hard?

“The capacity to endure uncertainty is the essence of growth.”

One person loses a job. Another wins a promotion. Both find the transition unsettling. Even a welcome change can be stressful.

Every time we step into the unfamiliar, we must pass through a period of uncertainty. We’ve let go of the old, but haven’t grabbed onto the new.

Many of us will do anything to avoid uncertainty. We’ll reach for our substance of choice (work, alcohol, busyness) or rush into something new.

But the in-between has a purpose. It allows us to fully unhook from the past so we can create a new future. It’s not a time to commit. It’s a time to surrender. It’s not a time for doing, but for reflection.  It’s not a time for hasty decisions but for pondering options.

Rest assured, uncertainty is temporary. At some point, you’ll begin to feel a fresh burst of energy, a renewed optimism, a sense of confidence and clarity. Loose ends will come together. Out of the chaos of uncertainty, new beginnings will emerge.

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

Lifting the Financial Fog

I lived most of my life in a financial fog. But the fog finally lifted when I stopped focusing exclusively on the Outer Work of Wealth (practical), and began doing the Inner Work of Wealth (psychological) and the Higher Work of Wealth (spiritual).

I’m here to tell you, when these three strands are braided together, miracles occur.  Attaining knowledge and competency is important, just as releasing emotional blocks and outmoded beliefs are liberating.

But when you bring in the third prong, the Higher Work, you’ll notice a significant shift.  When you take the admonition on our currency to heart—In God we trust—something remarkable happens.

Resistance dissolves. Fear shrivels. Discouragement gives way to inspired commitment and impressive courage. Struggle is replaced by unexpected synchronicities and a deep sense of trust in the inexplicable forces of the Universe.  The process becomes a transformational journey, a sacred initiation into our power.


If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

The Busy Woman’s Blueprint for Wealth Building 

Soon after divorcing my gambling husband, I got a call from a friend of my father. He wanted me to invest in a Limited Partnership he was forming, TJ Cinnamons, a fast food place that made sticky buns.

I had no idea what a Limited Partnership was, but this man was wealthy, smart, successful, so it had to be a great thing, right?

I didn’t know that you can’t sell shares in a Limited Partnership because there’s no market for it. When TJ Cinnamons went under, I lost my investment.

That calamity taught me a critical lesson. I call it the #1 Law of Investing: Never put money in anything you don’t understand. I was determined to educate myself.

That’s when I devised The Busy Woman’s Blueprint for Wealth Building. Otherwise known as the Osmosis School of Learning.  It consists of only 2 steps. Do them consistently, and you will be amazed, in just a short time, how much smarter you’ll be.

1) Everyday, read something about money, even if it’s just for a minute or two, even if it’s just glancing at the headlines of the business section of the newspaper, or a money magazine while you’re waiting in line at the grocery.

2) Every week, have a conversation about money.  You can learn so much from people smarter than you. Anytime you meet someone versed in investing, ask how they got smart, the mistakes they made, and what they’d recommend to help you learn.

Try these 2 steps and watch what happens. They worked so well for me that, to this day, I still do them.


If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

Stone Heart

What To Do Before Your Spouse Dies

I’ll never forget the day I asked my mother:  “Do you know what Dad has planned for you when he dies?”  My father was seriously ill. I worried about mom. And I was terrified to ask her that question.

When I finally screwed up the courage, she quickly deferred. “Oh yes,” she replied. But when I pressed her for details, she couldn’t deliver any. 

She also made it abundantly clear:  this was not a conversation she wanted to have.  I made it even clearer: avoidance was not an option.  Here’s what we did:

1.  We had “The Talk.” I had Mom sit down with Dad and we looked at all their financial documents:  bank statements, investments, estate planning, etc.  This was not, by any means, an easy conversation.  Nerves were frayed.  Mom glazed over.  Dad lost patience.  I kept scratching my wrist (a nervous habit) until it bled.  But by the end, Mom knew where every penny was and what arrangements he had (and hadn’t) made.

2.  We assembled “ The Team.” My Dad was very much a do-it-yourselfer.   Mom needed a team of professionals.  First on our list was an estate lawyer. Mom, my sisters and I met with him first, brought in my father, and together my parents created a very good, tax efficient estate plan. We helped her find an investment advisor and a CPA .  She meets with her “team” on a regular basis to this day.

3.  We updated documents.  We made sure the Will, Power of Attorney, EVERYTHING reflected their latest info and current wishes.

4.  We had annual family meetings. These gatherings, though often emotional, put everyone on the same page while Dad was still alive.  The meetings included my sisters, spouses, and all the grandchildren (we eventually had great-grandkids crawling around too).  My Dad let everyone know what his wishes were, especially for philanthropy, and enrolled the whole family to the board of his foundation.

By the time my father died, all my mother had to do was grieve.  Every detail was in order.  There were no surprises.  Practically speaking, his passing was seamless. 

Emotionally, it was devastating.  But being financially prepared mitigated the hassles and made the experience…well…easier.


If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

Just Keep Me Safe…Pleeeeeeease!

It’s tempting to keep all your money in cash because it seems so safe, right? After all, it’s guaranteed by the government. However, you’ll never build wealth when you’re losing money to inflation.

Stocks, on the other hand, feel so risky. Most of us, including the dictionary, see risk as “the possibility of loss.” But as smart investors know, risk is an opportunity for gain.

In fact, the biggest risk you take, as a woman, is not that the market will go down. Because it will. It always does. But it also always goes up.
 
The biggest risk that you and I take is that we will OUTLIVE our money…that our purchasing power, like a wool sweater in a hot dryer, will shrink over time.

So at least a portion of our money must be invested in assets that grow faster than inflation and taxes take it away.

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

Women with Crossed Fingers

Pay Yourself First

In 1926, George Clausen, publisher of the first road atlas of the United States, wrote a slim volume of parables about Babylonia, once the wealthiest city in the world. The Richest Man in Babylon has become a modern classic that some people, including me, consider among the best finance books ever written.

When we first meet the richest man in Babylon, he is telling friends the secret to his fortune.
“I found the road to wealth,” he tells them, “when I decided that a part of all I earn is mine to keep.” The men look at him incredulously.

“Is that all?” one asks, insisting that of course everything he makes is his to keep.

The wealthy man just shakes his head. “You fool, you pay everyone but yourself,” he cries, pointing to the clothing sellers, sandal makers, and wine merchants. Instead, the rich man counsels them, pay yourself first. “For every 10 coins thou places in thy purse, take out for use but nine.”

This is the way of the wealth builders. They pay themselves first, knowing that a part of all they earn goes into their personal savings on a regular basis.

Are you living that way?

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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