The ritual begins, for me, right around Christmas. I find myself wondering about the coming year. Indeed, as I write, 2026 looms before me like a blank canvas. And I ask myself—how do I want to fill it?
Thus begins the Annual Writing of My New Year’s Resolutions. I suspect many of you may be doing the same.
We do it even though we know that New Year’s Resolutions rarely bear fruit. Most of us (80%) give up by the second week in February.
So this year, I’m approaching my Resolution Ritual quite differently. I’ve discovered a better way to bring my dreams and goals into reality. I invite you to join me.
Tis the season to be spending. But splurging on presents is like binging at the buffet. Fun at first, but afterwards, you feel awful!
Let me suggest a simple tip to control your spending, without turning into a tightwad: Track your expenses.
Every time you buy anything—a gift, a latte or a mani/pedi—jot down the item and the amount…at the time of purchase. Otherwise, receipts pile up and it feels overwhelming.
Believe me, tracking is not just for those with limited means. Tracking is a powerful consciousness raising, potentially life changing tool. It reveals a lot more than where you can shave and save.
Nothing gets in the way of financial success more than repressed anger.
In my experience, women in general hold a tremendous amount of unexpressed anger, though few realize it.
I certainly did but had no idea. Until a therapist pointed out that I was carrying a lot of repressed rage, which was holding me hostage, unable to move forward.
As I worked on discharging my wrath, I had a revelation. Anger is simply energy. Repressed anger immobilizes. Released anger galvanizes.
When you find healthy ways to let go of resentment, you begin to notice a direct link between anger and power. Suppressing one inhibits expressing the other.
If you suspect you, too, may have some buried anger, I invite you to write an angry letter. Write it to your parents or ex-husband or maybe yourself. Write it by hand, not on a computer.
When you’re finished, burn the letter. As you watch it burn, say to your anger: “Thank you. You served me once. I no longer need you. I release you. Now I am free.”
I started to write on a different subject. But as my hands hit the keys, I heard a voice in my head say: “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you…that will be enough.”
Clearly, Meister Eckhart was sending me a message (and maybe you too) which I imagined went like this: “Toss the original topic. Focus on giving thanks. Stop looking at what you lack (as I sometimes do). Instead, appreciate the abundance you have….and those who’ve made it possible”
So today, in the spirit of Thanksgiving and a 13th century mystic, I’m taking this opportunity to say Thank You…
…to all of you who are reading this blog, even if it’s the only time you ever do, I truly appreciate you reading it today.
…to everyone who’s ever written to tell me how my work has impacted your life, you have no idea how your words have impacted mine. In fact, your notes and emails are hanging on my office walls.
I once saw a cartoon of a frog leaping from one lily pad to another. There’s a look of sheer terror on her face as she realizes she’s about to miss the lily pad. The caption read: Just when you think you’ve made ends meet, someone moves an end.
I suspect that a lot of people are feeling a lot like that these days. Maybe you’re one of them. Poised midair between the old and the new, wondering “What do I do now?”
Welcome to the Age of Massive Uncertainty. Recent times have played havoc with our lily pads. The present is chaotic and unfamiliar. The future is unknown and unpredictable. Your sense of security is shattered. It feels like nothing’s happening, you’re going nowhere.
Many will do anything to avoid uncertainty. As humans, we yearn for the certainty of solid ground. We’ll numb our anxiety with alcohol or overwork. Or rush head-first into a new job, another relationship.
Once a woman achieves financial stability, no longer struggling to make ends meet, something within her dramatically changes…though she’s rarely aware it’s happening.
Her brain, no longer tasked with simply surviving, is ready to rewire itself.
She finds herself yearning for Greatness, no longer satisfied with mediocrity.
She deeply desires to create wealth, not for its own sake, but for its original meaning—well-being.
She strives for power, not to appease or dominate others, but to have sovereignty over herself.
She searches for significance, not by being the best or making the most, but by doing what God put her on earth to do.
I recently got a message on Facebook: “I want to make a quantum leap. Tell me, Barbara, how do I do that?”
My answer: “Take lots of tiny steps.”
If her lack of response was any indication, I don’t think she liked my reply.
But the truth is, that’s precisely how quantum leaps, colossal successes, radical transformations occur…one small step at a time.
You know the feeling. You finally decide to take the financial reins. You’ll pay off your debt, save for emergencies, invest regularly for retirement.
Off you go—to take a financial class, talk to an advisor, buy a money book when suddenly, you run smack dab into Resistance.
Resistance is the psychological term for “I don’t want to do this!”
So, you cancel the appointment, lose interest in the book, sit through the class, but nothing sinks in. You figure money’s not your thing. Eventually, you quit trying.
Resistance, more than anything else, is what stops women from taking the financial reins. But it doesn’t need to derail you, at least not for long.
“I really want to make more money,” she said, sighing heavily. “But I find it difficult being comfortable asking for what I’m worth.”
This woman was missing the point. I don’t know anyone who feels comfortable raising their prices or asking for a raise. Yet, underearners will sabotage their success rather than endure the discomfort.
It’s astonishing how fiercely we cling to our so-called Comfort Zones. What a misnomer. These places are anything but comfortable. They’re just familiar and predictable.
Whenever you decide to do something different–whether it’s making more money or losing more weight—you must enter the Discomfort Zone–the space between where you are now and where you want to be.
