The “D” Word

As I enter 2026, I’m setting this intention for myself: Mental Discipline. This year, I’m going to be rigorous about making sure my thoughts are positive, uplifting, and loving (especially to myself).

Too often, I find myself helplessly spiraling into various shades of self-doubt, self-loathing and fear. It’s an unhealthy, counterproductive habit I desperately want to change.

When I shared my intention with a few friends, their reaction was less than positive.

“That’s awfully harsh,” one said.

“Doesn’t sound appealing to me,” said another.

I wasn’t surprised. Clearly, the word ‘discipline’ tripped them up.

I sometimes wonder if most people instinctively recoil from discipline, like a kid ordered to eat veggies. It may be good for us, but damn it, we’re not going to like it and we’ll try anything to get out of it.

I love the word. I truly do. In my experience, discipline is essential to a happier, richer life.

Unfortunately, discipline has been given a bad rap…perhaps because most don’t understand what it really means.

The word Discipline (which comes from the Latin root ‘disciple’) actually means ‘being a disciple unto oneself.’

Which is exactly why I’m determined to practice Mental Discipline. As I discovered from studying neuroscience, our actions, especially our habitual behaviors, derive from how we think.

I vow, this year, to become my own biggest fan, viewing myself in the very best light. I vow to be kind to myself when things don’t go well and gently encourage myself to do what I may not be keen to do but doing it anyway knowing how happy it will make me.

In my world, I see mental discipline as a source of pleasure, the essence of power, an act of self-love and the very heart of a life well lived.

How can you see discipline in a positive light? Tell me about it in the comments below.

Comments & Feedback


Manon Laurin

February 18, 2026 AT 3:09PM

The word discipline is not an easy thought,.
My father was disciplined in his work, my mother was not disciplined in her caring of her children. I was not encouraged to take on an activity that demanded my discipline.

But if I want to not abandon myself, I have to discipline my thoughts and my activities. So for me, I would conclude that discipline is self love.

I agree with you that the D word as in Discipline is an excellent choice for 2026. Thanks.

Sheryl H

February 18, 2026 AT 3:52PM

Hi: Thanks for your post. I do see discipline in a positive light, e.g., I’ve been meditating twice daily for nearly 6 decades. Yes, occasionally I’ve missed a meditation and I don’t beat myself up for those times. Since the practice of mediating is the “hub” of my life off the cushion–which supports all the “spokes” of my life–meditating (and by extension self-talk) is a discipline that is most definitely a source of self-love and self-care. Thoughts become values, values become behaviors, behaviors become habits. That said, there are times when my thoughts about myself and the world aren’t “positive, uplifting, or loving”. In those moments, rather than “rigorously making sure they are positive, uplifting, or loving” (IMHO, that’s spiritual bypassing, which isn’t an act of self-care or self-love), I get curious. What does this thought, perception, or feeling want me to know? What is in need of healing? Of love and forgiveness? Rather than trying to bring “the light to the darkness” in the form of being positive, I prefer asking the Holy Spirit for support in bringing “the darkness to the light”. I’m not alone on my journey toward living the Happy Dream–which includes both calling for or extending love. Remembering that–is the discipline.

Melon Dash

February 18, 2026 AT 5:30PM

It’s a good word, especially knowing it’s from disciple unto yourself!

Today the little kid in me wanted to go swimming. I really didn’t want to go. Same thing yesterday. I didn’t go either day. But today I had a breakthrough. This is a tiny step in the years-long step by step process I’m in that’s making me more whole.

I talked it thru out loud. I said, talking to my inner child, “Little one I know you want to go swimming. But I really don’t. I don’t want to stop. I want to keep going with what I’m doing. I know that not wanting to stop is a problem for me and us. I know when you want me to stop and I do, I feel great about it. I know it’s the way to go and I want to follow your lead always, because you are the true me. This convo takes me a step closer to being able to do it more often. I’m grateful for this step today!

When you talk about discipline Barbara, I can hear it the way I would have a year ago: that if I were disciplined I would have gone swimming yesterday and today, pushing myself off my path to check off more items on ‘my list’ of to-dos.

But I’m hearing the word instead like this: discipline is connecting with my self and speaking the truth out loud, learning what my different parts have to say so I can realize my beliefs and sit with them. When I’ve heard them, there is always a shift, sometimes incredibly small, but always taking me forward in tangible ways. I can feel myself changing every single time I do it. I’m giving thanks.

ChonaJoy Ananda

February 18, 2026 AT 6:39PM

Personally, devotion, rooted in passion, is my “D” word of choice. Discipline feels forced. Devotion feels eagerly welcomed in me. I engage in many daily devotions, one of which is being present to and adjusting my thoughts when they warrant upliftment. I get to think my thoughts, they don’t get to think me. I actively engage in what I refer to as “thoughtus interruptus” ( think coitus interruptus) if the thoughts are in need of an “altitude adjustment.” My version of thoughtus interruptus most often takes the form of my process called Dynamic Ecstatic Embodied GreatFullNess. Thanks for the discussion and the invitation to contribute to the discussion!

Lisa

February 18, 2026 AT 7:13PM

I prefer the “C” word over the “D” word. I prefer to be consistent. There may be a couple of days a month where I go on a bender and skip flossing my teeth, but I’m consistent most of the month and I pass my dental exam. It makes life a bit more flexible.

BTW, something in my “I always have just enough money for everything” affirmation came true last night! Someone paid me some extra doe for doing a good job under terrible circumstances last December (very rare). There was something I wanted to buy in March, but couldn’t budget for it, then the money came through 💞

Frances

February 18, 2026 AT 9:41PM

In my experience discipline is a path to greater freedom. (Self) Discipline builds good habits that support and protect the day to day. Self-discipline can become a habit – I don’t have to make so many decisions or worry.

In my case I have an extreme lack of confidence that manifests as “un assuming.” A friend explained “ you don’t put yourself forward enough and we feel worried”

A light went on

Up to me really and at this late age of 75 I need to wake up out of bed of depression

Susan Coleman

February 19, 2026 AT 1:56AM

Thank you Barbara, Discipline is my thing, 100%. Gets me through every day taking care of stuff I might resist. Nonetheless, feeling all my feelings is part of that discipline, noticing what I am feeling. Helps me identify what needs of mine and others I most want to address. Sending love to you. Susan

Marina

February 19, 2026 AT 3:30AM

Thank you for the timely reminder, Barbara!
I learned to appreciate discipline from your point of view and it changed my life. I am a mentally disciplined woman now. I experience it „as a source of pleasure, the essence of power, an act of self-love and the very heart of life well lived.“
Practicing being a disciple onto myself has restored my sanity, spirit, and soul. It is a source of regeneration, nervous system regulation, heart recalibration, and realignment. Disciplined self care and fierce self-compassion became a solid foundation of integrity, congruence, and wholeness upon which I am creating my life as I rewire my brain for wealth in every aspect of it. And, I do so playfully. Who knew that discipline can bring that much joy into my life. In my case abundance is a byproduct of joyful mental discipline. Discipline equals devotion to becoming more fully myself.

Michele Phillips

February 19, 2026 AT 5:03AM

I agree with you. When I learned the root of the word, it made so much sense, and I liked thinking of it in this new way. We have co-opted it to be harsher than it needs to be. Thank you for always using yourself as an example of what is possible.

Tammy

February 19, 2026 AT 7:36AM

I prefer another “D” word…. DEVOTION. Devotion is driven by love and passion from within, while discipline is often driven by obligation, structure, or willpower. Devotion makes the journey feel like a choice or passion, while discipline often feels like pushing through resistance.

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