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It’s Time to Get Tough!

If you wanna play a bigger game, you gotta toughen up! That means disconnecting from your Inner Pleaser and growing thicker skin.

By  nature, we women want everyone’s approval. Successful women are no different. Almost everyone I’ve interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

However, success requires us to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often have negative consequences for other people.

Toughening up, however, doesn’t mean you have to harden your heart, numb your senses, or go all macho.

It does mean you need to dramatically shift your priorities toI’d rather be respected than liked.

This one shift in thinking–I’d rather be respected than liked–means developing a rhinoceroses hide while keeping an open heart. This is precisely how we’ll become strong, effective leaders without compromising our feminine nature.

As one woman told me, “I tried to be nice rather than stand by my convictions. But I learned you can’t always be liked, but you can definitely be respected.”

Where do you need to toughen up?  If you’re like me, I bet it’s not just at work, but on the home-front too.


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Comments & Feedback

  • Lisa

    Barbara,

    Your newsletters always inspire me! Thank you for this message. To answer your question, I need to toughen up at home, too. There is a situation that I’ve been letting slide for far too long. Your message reminded me that success starts at home.

    I also need to a have a tough conversation with a university. One of the courses they’re teaching is very sloppy and someone who I’m socializing with is doing something questionable.

    I dread tough conversations. I’ve read most successful people are willing to have tough conversations. I’m going to have a crack at it tonight by speaking in a way to this person that I would want to be spoken to.

  • barbara huson

    Good for you, Lisa. But I have to tell you, I have met very few successful women who like those tough conversations. It’s challenging for all women.But I really liked what you said about talking to them like you’d want someone to talk to you. That’s the key. Firm, but respectful, and always with an open heart . Hope all goes well. Thanks so much for posting!

  • Lisa

    Thanks, Barbara.

    So far I’ve had 3 out of 6 tough conversations I I needed to have. Oh my goodness….they are time consuming and nerve racking , however I feel a bit more liberated and less anxious after I had them. Before all of these conversations my inner voice said to me “ how am I going to say this”.

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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