I was newly divorced, raising 3 daughters, when I got tax bills for over $1m. My ex was responsible, but he left the country…leaving me with very little in the bank. My father refused to lend me the money. I was angry and terrified. I had no choice. I had to get smart about money.
I tried going to classes, reading books, but nothing made sense. I felt immobilized. Nowhere in those books or classes could I find a solution for my paralysis…until I took matters in my own hands.
I stopped focusing on the practical mechanics of money and started plumbing the deepest recesses of my psyche. Writing in my journal proved profoundly revealing.
I became aware of a familiar voice that kept telling me how stupid I was. Instead of ignoring it or letting it hold sway, as I always did, I began a dialogue with that voice, asking it where it came from and what it wanted.
I remembered my father telling me, often and in no uncertain terms, that managing money was a man’s job. As a woman, I did not have what it took to manage money.
So of course, I was terrified that if I tried to take charge, I’d botch things badly, blow it all.
Once I understood my unconscious assumption (women are incapable of managing money) and its source (my father), I was able to discredit it. My paralysis disappeared. Learning about finances actually came quite easily.
The financial industry eschews the Inner Work of Wealth as “touchy feely.”
I’m here to tell you, financial success doesn’t come from what you do as much as how you think.
Until I was aware of my false beliefs, I was a prisoner to them. If you’re feeling at all stuck, the solution rarely lies in doing more Outer Work. The key is exploring your limiting beliefs and false assumptions.
Until you consciously examine your early programming and intentionally change it, you’ll be like puppets pulled by the strings of your past.
What beliefs about money are holding you back? Share in the comments below.
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