Blog

Yes I Can

“You Can’t Do That! Who Do You Think You Are??”

We all have our internal critics. The ones that tell us what we can’t possibly do.

Those voices may never shut up.

But just because you hear voices in your head, doesn’t mean you have to follow them.

As Vincent Van Gogh once said: “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you can not paint,’ by all means paint and the voice will be silenced.”

Indeed, keep reminding yourself: “that’s not my voice.” It’s the voice of a parent, the culture, teachers, friends, something ‘out there.’ But it isn’t mine.

Meeting

It’s Never Success That Scares You!! Never!

She sat across the table, looking every bit the savvy businesswoman that she was.

As we chatted over kale salads, she told me how her company, not yet two years old, was growing exponentially.

Then she lowered her voice and leaned in close. “There’s something I need to talk about. I’ve never shared this with anyone.”

“What is it?” I asked, also leaning forward, our foreheads almost touching. I could tell this was difficult for her.

“I’m afraid of success. I can already see little ways I’m holding myself back.”

“Tell me what you’re scared of.”

“I’m afraid people won’t like me,” she began slowly, then quickly added, “I’m afraid people will want more of me than I can give them. I’m so busy now, I’m afraid I’ll have no time for myself. I’m scared it will all be too much.”

“You’re not afraid of success,” I responded. “You’re afraid of power. There’s a definite difference.”

I share this conversation with you because I believe it reveals a critical distinction that we women need to understand. Let me explain.

What’s Really at the Root of the Financial Crisis?

In the 21st century, women will change the nature of power rather than power changing the nature of women.”

—Bell Abzug

 

The headline of a recent article in Bloomberg Business Week caught my eye: “ Is the Financial Crisis a Male Syndrome?”

Could it be,“ the authors ask, “ that male domination of market finance results in excessive speculation and risk-taking at the expense of global stability?”

Ya think?? Clearly, the guys have been calling the shots.  No surprise there.

What surprised me most—the co-authors were both men!

I was heartened to know there are a few enlightened men (including the Dali Lama)  who are waking up to an obvious truth.

Excessive testosterone is running the world, which as these authors admit, leads to greater aggression and risk taking (ie. Global  wars and financial crisis)

The solution?   “Gender rebalancing.” With more women in power, the authors insist, we’d see  enhanced risk management , less volatility,  improved financial markets  and better ambiance in the office.

No argument from me! But here’s what I want to know.

Who’s going to do the rebalancing? What’s it going to take to get more women in power?

I ask this question with a sense of urgency…but without a clear answer.

Face it, no one is going to do it for us.  If we want a seat at the table, it’s our job to take it.

How? We can begin by having the conversation among ourselves.  We can begin by becoming the change we want to see in the world. Call it a grassroots effort…a personal challenge.

What if each one of us starts by noticing where, in our own life,  we are giving our power away and consciously strive  to take it back?  What if each one of us starts speaking up, making sure our voice is heard…and respected?  What if every one of us asks for and offers to help each other in this endeavor?

I truly believe, if enough women step fully into their own power, we’d see a giant ripple effect  on the global landscape.

What do you think?

To the 99% Who are Pissed Off!

Dear Occupy Wall Street protester,

I share your frustration. And I agree with your premise: economic inequality, Wall Street excess and corporate greed are appalling and unacceptable.

Might I make a suggestion? Maybe there’s a more potent way to produce change.

What if you took at least a portion of your fury and redirected it toward  the only place real change can ever occur, the only place you truly have power…yourself.

What if you focused some of your energy into becoming part of the top 1% yourself…then  change the system as an insider? In other words, become the change you want to make.

Don’t you ever wonder why the rich keep getting richer? Doesn’t it seem curious that no matter how bad the economy, there are still people prospering?

  • Despite the financial crisis, the number of millionaires in the United States rose a whopping 16 percent to 7.8 million in 2009.
  • The top 10 percent of Americans now earn around 50 percent of our national income.

Admittedly luck plays a part. But based on my research, I found 2 other factors, just as important, and far more in our control.

When I studied women whose net worth grew substantially, I discovered they followed a 2 prong process–the Outer Work and the Inner Work of Wealth.

I’m not saying it’s easy…or without challenges. But from experience, I know it’s possible. As I learned firsthand, financial success is much more in our control that we realize.

Besides, what do you have to lose? I mean, it’s worth a try.  Here’s what you do:

The Outer Work of Wealth—be vigilant in following the 4 Rules of Money

  1. Spend Less. Never spend more than you earn. Stop using credit cards.  Start repaying your debt.
  2. Save More. Pay yourself first. Sock away enough to cover unexpected emergencies, a half year of living expenses, and some fun stuff like a vacation or new pair of shoes.
  3. Invest Wisely. At least part of your money must be in assets that will grow faster than inflation and taxes. Educate yourself so you make investing decisions from knowledge, not fear, ignorance, or habit.
  4. Give Generously. But only after you’ve built a solid financial foundation. Otherwise you’ll jeopardize your future security, and diminish the impact you can make with your money

The Inner Work of Wealth—explore your attitudes, beliefs, decisions you’ve made about yourself and money that may be keeping you stuck in the 99%. I’ve got a ton of resources on my website.

Please, don’t stop the protests. But as Gloria Steinem put it: the revolution must start from within.

 

Yikes! I Can’t Possibly Take Time OFF!!!

“There is no need to learn through pain” ~~A Course in Miracles

 

I wonder how many of you are craving some down time, a chance to step off the treadmill, but just can’t seem to swing it?

That’s where I was 2 years ago.

I remember saying to my guy, with a heavy sigh: “I wish I could take the next month off.”

“Why don’t you?” he responded.

I gasped! How could I possibly do that? I had all these “important” things to do!! Taking time off was unthinkable.

Then it hit me. I’d been interviewing women who made millions (my next goal) and saw something I never expected.

Right before these women soared, each one sank into a period of nothing happening, a time between, a void, often as a result of a crisis, like a devastating illness or painful loss.

These time-outs served an essential role in their eventual triumphs because they used them, as one woman put it, ‘to regroup and come back stronger.”

At that moment, I decided I wasn’t going to wait for a crisis. I could choose to step off the grid…by design, not default.

I invite you to do the same. Especially if you’ve had this nagging sense you need some down time.

I took 4 days off, going to a nearby hotel where I spent the entire time in self reflection.  It was during this time I discovered Sacred Success®.

Believe me, I had no idea a whole new body of work was living inside me, waiting for me to slow down and tune in.

Maybe it’s time for you to slow down and tune in too. That’s why I created a Sacred Success® Retreat, as a way to give women a structured  time out to go within.

If you can only take a day off, or even a few hours, that will work too. And you don’t need to go anywhere.

The whole idea is to eliminate distractions, do only what’s essential, connect with your inner wisdom and listen to what it has to say. (For more info, read my blog: The Beginner’s Guide to Surrender.)

You might be surprised with what you discover.  If you’d like to share, I’m all ears!

 

My Anger at Men

The sign of the headquarters of the National A...
Image via Wikipedia

“Insecure people can be vicious.”—A Course in Miracles

What began as an angry outburst ended with a stunning revelation.

My Man and I were watching Law & Order on TV. There was one scene where 4 female detectives were chasing down the bad guys, about to solve the case.

And My Man, who is utterly supportive of me, says: “Hey, how come it’s all women on screen? Are there any men in this show?”

I was aghast. “I don’t believe you just said that,” I exclaimed, smoke coming out my nostrils.

Was My Man a closet chauvinist? He clearly didn’t like watching all these women in power. I had never seen this side of him before.

I was pissed. He had no idea why.

I tried to explain his comment was yet another example of women being marginalized, minimized by men.   Something I’ve lived with my whole life. Something I’ve been working so hard to change. Something that’s caused me a lot of pain.

He fell silent for a few minutes, quietly pondering his reaction. I never expected what he said next. I know, for a fact, he didn’t either.

“I don’t have a problem with powerful women,” he explained softly. “The problem is that if women get too much power, men will have too little.  Then there’s no place left for a man to be a man.”

We were both quiet for a bit (stunned may be the better word), then he continued. “I’m afraid if it’s not a man’s world, I’ll be playing the previous role women had, a  diminished role.   I don’t want to be in a diminished role.”

At that moment, I felt My Man could be speaking for millions of others.  Behind his dismissive remark was a deep insecurity, albeit unconscious.

Suddenly my anger at chauvinism morphed into compassion for males.  How many other men are threatened  by powerful women, as if there’s only so much power to go around?

Believe me, I’m not making excuses for misogyny or gender discrimination.  But this little tiff got me thinking.

I’ve been so focused on empowering women. Perhaps it’s time to educate our men. Clearly, they’re as afraid of our power as we are.

Men need to know we’re not seeking domination. That’s not how we work. We genuinely want partnership. We want to share power, not usurp it.

I’ll tell you one thing…my little outburst has led to some fascinating discussions.  I’d love  your comments. Have you ever had a similar experience with men in your life?

Enhanced by Zemanta

A “Metafiscal” Moment!

So, I’m on a walk with my good friend, Suzy.  We’re talking about metaphysical stuff. Only she mispronounces the word. She calls it: Metafiscal.

Suzy laughs. I shriek! It was a pure light bulb moment.

“Ohmygawd,” I exclaim. “That’s my word. Metafiscal!”

To me,  financial success, especially for women, is both a practical process AND  a spiritual journey.

Now I have a word to describe it. Metafiscal

Metafiscal (adj)—that which blends financial know-how with metaphysical principles; a melding of the sacred and the mundane in regards to money.

The word perfectly captures the essence of all my teachings, but especially my most recent, Sacred Success™, which I’ve often described as the Wall Street Journal meets A Course in Miracles. Now I’ll just simply say it’s my latest Metafiscal work.

Guess what folks. I am a Metafiscal teacher!  Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

5 Words Say it All…

I’m flipping through the Wall Street Journal, when 5 words practically slap me in the face. I’ve no idea what the article was about. But the phrase super-glued itself to my brain.

“The Survival of the Focused…”

Those 5 words sum up the Big Secret to mega financial success.

Those 5 words mark the major distinction between an Underearner and a High Earner.

Those 5 words capture the very essence of what it takes to achieve Greatness.

And for anyone who’s struggling to make ends meet, or live their dream, I say heed those 5 words.

I’m convinced these 5 words offer the key to not just surviving, but thriving, in this new economic paradigm.

This may sound weird, but I’ve always considered myself blessed with an unfair advantage. I’m only good at and enjoy doing 2 things: writing and teaching. Period! I understand why so many with far more skills than I often feel stymied.

Focusing can be very frustrating for the multi-faceted or multi-gifted. But if you want my advice–prioritize your passions. No matter how many interests, talents, opportunities, or possibilities are available to you, financial success will go to the focused.

Do you agree? I’d love to hear what you have to say. Please leave me a comment below!

STOPPING The Oh-So-Subtle Self–Sabotage

In my previous post, I played true confessions.  I fessed up that, years ago, I constantly put myself down…without really knowing it!

I have a hunch many of you do the same.  And believe me, self depreciation is a subtle but serious form of self sabotage.

I’d like to share what I did to stop. It wasn’t easy. I’m far from perfect. But success is so much easier since I curtailed my self-criticism and began acknowledging my value.

Here’s my 3-point plan to Stop Self Criticism—Observe; Brag; Find Spotters.

  1. I started by observing my conversations. Every time I heard me belittling myself, I stopped. Literally stopped, mid-sentence, and force myself to say something positive…even if it was just ‘thank you.’
  2. I started bragging (thanks to Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts). I mean, I actually prefaced sentences with “I brag…” and then tooted my own horn.
  3. I shared my goal with a few close friends, asking  them to spot me by pointing out my more subtle put-downs. They had no trouble catching me in the act.  Their feedback was quite effective.

Admittedly, these steps, at first, felt ridiculously uncomfortable, completely awkward. But gradually, I began to notice something.  My self-derision all but disappeared. And I felt much better about myself.

I’m here to say, I swear it’s true–what you share, you definitely strengthen. Please leave a comment below on how these steps support you in achieving greatness.

The Talk!

I think it’s time we have The Talk. Don’t you? You know, the one about the Legacy you wish to leave. It’s a subject that deserves serious thought.

Leaving a Legacy is how you achieve Greatness. It goes right to the core of why you’re here and the mark you wish to make on the world you leave behind.

Some of you know exactly what it is. Mine, of course, is that there are a lot more financially empowered women running this country as a result of my work. And a lot fewer abused women who can’t afford to leave their abuser.

But many of you may be scratching your heads, wondering, ‘huh, what’s mine?’

Your legacy doesn’t need to light up the sky. It could be the tiniest footprint in the sand. All that matters: your legacy reflects your purpose fulfilled.

Need help? Try this exercise.

Imagine that it’s far in the future. You are lying on your deathbed. You’ve lead a long and meaningful life, but it’s now drawing to a close. As you lie there, you begin to review your past. What gave you the most satisfaction, outside of your family, to know this is what you’ll be remembered for? It need not be limited to one thing, either.

Once you pinpoint what it is, come back to this moment. Then ask yourself: What can I do right now that will contribute to the legacy I wish to leave?

Please share below by leaving a comment…I can’t wait to hear your insights.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

Top Back To Top
Site Design Rebecca Pollock
Site Development Alchemy + Aim