We all have our internal critics. The ones that tell us what we can’t possibly do.
Those voices may never shut up.
But just because you hear voices in your head, doesn’t mean you have to follow them.
As Vincent Van Gogh once said: “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you can not paint,’ by all means paint and the voice will be silenced.”
Indeed, keep reminding yourself: “that’s not my voice.” It’s the voice of a parent, the culture, teachers, friends, something ‘out there.’ But it isn’t mine.
“There is no need to learn through pain” ~~A Course in Miracles
I wonder how many of you are craving some down time, a chance to step off the treadmill, but just can’t seem to swing it?
That’s where I was 2 years ago.
I remember saying to my guy, with a heavy sigh: “I wish I could take the next month off.”
“Why don’t you?” he responded.
I gasped! How could I possibly do that? I had all these “important” things to do!! Taking time off was unthinkable.
Then it hit me. I’d been interviewing women who made millions (my next goal) and saw something I never expected.
Right before these women soared, each one sank into a period of nothing happening, a time between, a void, often as a result of a crisis, like a devastating illness or painful loss.
These time-outs served an essential role in their eventual triumphs because they used them, as one woman put it, ‘to regroup and come back stronger.”
At that moment, I decided I wasn’t going to wait for a crisis. I could choose to step off the grid…by design, not default.
I invite you to do the same. Especially if you’ve had this nagging sense you need some down time.
I took 4 days off, going to a nearby hotel where I spent the entire time in self reflection. It was during this time I discovered Sacred Success®.
Believe me, I had no idea a whole new body of work was living inside me, waiting for me to slow down and tune in.
Maybe it’s time for you to slow down and tune in too. That’s why I created a Sacred Success® Retreat, as a way to give women a structured time out to go within.
If you can only take a day off, or even a few hours, that will work too. And you don’t need to go anywhere.
The whole idea is to eliminate distractions, do only what’s essential, connect with your inner wisdom and listen to what it has to say. (For more info, read my blog: The Beginner’s Guide to Surrender.)
You might be surprised with what you discover. If you’d like to share, I’m all ears!
“It’s amazing what you can do with money!” my daughter said to me the other day.
Her husband, a film maker, is directing a documentary funded by a generous sponsor with very deep pockets. Normally, he’s working on a shoestring. This time, he gets pretty much free rein to do fun things, like travel to far-off places and hire helicopters for various shots.
Yes, it is amazing what you can do with money. What’s puzzling is why are countless women ignoring their finances?
I’m beginning to think its fear of relationship.
In my mind, money is like a Perfect Lover. All it wants to do is serve you and support you. All it requires, in return, is to be respected and appreciated.
In other words, just like a man, money needs your attention; it needs to feel understood, cared about, and valued. Otherwise, it’s not likely to stick around for the long haul.
As in all relationships, there are good times and bad times. Right now, it’s one of those bad times for many. If you’re in that spot, this is not the time to turn your back, throw in the towel or ignore your money. At least not if you want money to be there for your old age.
Now is the time to work on creating more intimacy with your money. Get to know it better. Learn what it needs and how to best care for it. Make sure it feels the love. (The “love of money” is NOT the root of all evil! Deprivation and destitution is.)
Some suggestions for improving your relation$hip:
1. Talk to a professional. Make an appointment with a financial advisor. (Try my book Finding a Financial Advisor You Can Trust)
2. Give it attention. Read something every day about money, even if it’s just a paragraph. (Try the Wall Street Journal)
3. Talk to others. Ask friends and colleagues who are smart with money for advice
4. Be wary of hype, rumors and scare tactics. Bad news can be seductive, but it’s usuallyskewed.
I honestly think it’s time we all start having a love affair with our money. You’ll be amazed at what you’ll be able to do together as a result .
Have you ever met with a financial advisor, and wished you had a translator? My sister and I, spouses too, have spent the past few months interviewing various advisors for some family trusts.
Nice people, all of them. But once they got started talking, they were suddenly speaking a foreign tongue.
I thought I knew this tongue. I really did. I’ve written 5 books about money. I even wrote one on Finding a Financial Advisor You Can Trust.
But these folks, at various points in the discussion, had my head reeling.
At first, I was a bit embarrassed. I mean, I should know this stuff, right?
Then it hit me. No wonder so many women aren’t getting the financial help they need. One conversation with an advisor and their heads are reeling too. And most of them just want to put their reeling heads right back in the sand.
Consider this blog (in part) a Plea to Professionals. C’mon, you guys. Speak in plain English. And then check in with clients at frequent intervals to make sure they’re tracking.
But, truth is, I don’t hold out much hope.
And the truth is the onus is on us. I am a Big Believer in working with professionals…be it for a root canal or retirement planning. And sometimes the latter can be as painful as the former! But it doesn’t need to be.
Not if we’re willing to speak up, ask for clarification, and keep asking until we understand.
It all boils down to this. If you don’t understand ‘Financialese,’ it doesn’t mean you’re stupid. It’s simply a sign to ask more questions. The payoff is clarity. But, I’m here to tell you, the real reward is how powerful you’ll feel for standing up for yourself.
Can you relate to this post? You can tell me about your conversations with a financial advisor by leaving a comment below.
In my previous post, I played true confessions. I fessed up that, years ago, I constantly put myself down…without really knowing it!
I have a hunch many of you do the same. And believe me, self depreciation is a subtle but serious form of self sabotage.
I’d like to share what I did to stop. It wasn’t easy. I’m far from perfect. But success is so much easier since I curtailed my self-criticism and began acknowledging my value.
Here’s my 3-point plan to Stop Self Criticism—Observe; Brag; Find Spotters.
Admittedly, these steps, at first, felt ridiculously uncomfortable, completely awkward. But gradually, I began to notice something. My self-derision all but disappeared. And I felt much better about myself.
I’m here to say, I swear it’s true–what you share, you definitely strengthen. Please leave a comment below on how these steps support you in achieving greatness.
I’ve learned a lot from interviewing high earners. But perhaps the most significant lesson was this:
Even though these women were not driven by money, they demanded to be well compensated because-and here’s the Big Lesson- they felt they were worth it.
The problem: women, in general, devalue themselves. These women, however, taught me specific ways to strengthen self esteem. Here are 5 tips for pumping up your self-worth along with your net worth.
– What most of us do is unwittingly limit our earnings by lowering our expectations. Especially women. The idea is to think in terms of what you are worth, not just what you assume the market will bear.By practicing these tips, you’ll begin to notice a shift in how you feel about yourself. Making more money becomes not something you should do, but something you have to do-because you know in your heart you’re worth it.
If you have other suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
