Women & Power

Fear of Success? Or Fear of Power?

She sat across the table, looking like the savvy businesswoman she was.

As we chatted over kale salads, she told me how her company, not yet two years old, was growing exponentially.

Then she lowered her voice and leaned in close. “There’s something I need to talk about. I’ve never shared this with anyone.”

“What is it?” I asked, also leaning forward. I could tell this was difficult for her.

“I’m afraid of success. I can already see little ways I’m holding myself back.”

When I asked what scared her, she replied, “I’m afraid people won’t like me. I’m afraid people will want more of me than I can give them. I’m scared it will all be too much.”

5 Simple Steps to Overcome Resistance

I remember the moment it first happened to me. I was researching my book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, learning so much from the savvy women I was interviewing, finally getting a grip on my finances.

When suddenly, Resistance hit…hard! I lost interest in anything financial and, try as I might, couldn’t get past my inertia. So I made an appointment with a therapist.

“I really want to get smart about money,” I cried in desperation. “I really, really do!”

Looking me square in the eye, he calmly responded: “No you don’t!” I couldn’t argue.

Clearly, part of me didn’t want to get smart. I tried hard to ignore that part, afraid it would take over. But in truth, my repression gave it power.

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Get Rid of Imposter Syndrome…For Good!

When I interviewed over 150 high earners for my book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women, I expected these women to be extremely confident. And they were.

What I didn’t expect was how many struggled with fear, self-doubt and felt like a fraud, afraid others would find out. Which was exactly how I felt!

But there was a difference between them and me—they didn’t let fear stop them. Their courage inspired me.

After one of those interviews, I grabbed a blank piece of paper and wrote, in red crayon: Do What You Fear. That’s How You Succeed.” I framed it and put it on a table across from my desk where it still stands today.

An Exercise for Rewiring Your Brain

Last week, a client called, close to tears. Her husband’s business unexpectedly went belly up. Suddenly left with no income, she was forced to get a second job.

“Do you think this crisis has anything to do with my decision to make more money and my lack of action?” she asked.

Obviously it was a rhetorical question.

I see this pattern all the time. Women who avoid money—making it or managing it—until a crisis hits. Either their world falls apart or feels like it’s about to. That’s when they finally take action.

I did it myself. I waited until a million-dollar tax bill almost wiped me out. Not smart!!

How about you? Are you avoiding your finances until the pain gets worse than your fear? Are wanting to move forward without having your world violently–or even mildly–shaken?

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A Radically New (And Far Better) Way to Make New Year’s Resolutions

The ritual begins, for me, right around Christmas. I find myself wondering about the coming year. Indeed, as I write, 2022 looms before me like a blank canvas. And I ask myself—how do I want to fill it?

Thus begins the Annual Writing of My New Year’s Resolutions. I suspect many of you may be doing the same.

We do it even though we know that New Year’s Resolutions rarely bear fruit. Most of us (80%) give up by the second week in February.

So this year, I’m approaching my Resolution Ritual quite differently. I’ve discovered a better way to bring my dreams and goals into reality. I invite you to join me.

Consciousness Raising While Holiday Shopping

Tis the season to be spending. But splurging on presents is like binging at the buffet. Fun at first, but afterwards, you feel awful!

Let me suggest a simple tip to control your spending, without turning into a tightwad: Track your expenses.

Every time you buy anything—a gift, a latte or a mani/pedi—jot down the item and the amount…at the time of purchase. Otherwise, receipts pile up and it feels overwhelming.

Believe me, tracking is not just for those with limited means. Tracking is a powerful consciousness raising, potentially life changing tool. It reveals a lot more than where you can shave and save.

A Spiritual Approach for Scary Times

I’ve been turning to A Course in Miracles a lot more these days. I may not be able to control current events, but, as the Course constantly reminds me, I can train my mind to control how I react to them.

This teaching has come in quite handy during the pandemic. Miraculously, in the midst of all the madness, I’ve managed to find serenity.

Your ability to redirect your thinking,” the Course exclaims, “is the most powerful device that was ever given you for change.”

The ability to redirect your thinking is based on what the Course calls “the most important concept that exists in the universe:” The Law of Cause and Effect. The Course explains this law very differently from the world’s Newtonian version.

To the world, a cause is an external incident which produces an internal effect. The market crashes (cause) and you panic (effect). Your boss complains (cause) and you get upset (effect).

Navigating the Chaos of Uncertainty

I once saw a cartoon of a frog leaping from one lily pad to another. There’s a look of sheer terror on her face as she realizes she’s about to miss the lily pad. The caption read: Just when you think you’ve made ends meet, someone moves an end.

I suspect that millions of people are feeling a lot like that. Maybe you’re one of them. Poised midair between the old and the new, wondering “What do I do now?”

Welcome to the Age of Massive Uncertainty. The pandemic has played havoc with our lily pads. The present is unfamiliar. The future is unpredictable. Your sense of security is shattered. It feels like nothing’s happening, you’re going nowhere.

Many will do anything to avoid uncertainty. As humans, we yearn for the certainty of solid ground. We’ll numb our anxiety with alcohol or overwork. Or rush head-first into a new job, another relationship.

Yet uncertainty has a powerful purpose. It’s not an empty time. It’s a fallow time, a moratorium, a vital phase in the transition process.

Using Failure to Achieve Greatness

Did you hear about the MBA program offering a course on how to fail? Students are graded on how they handle setbacks in class projects. Classmates are encouraged to boo presentation they don’t like. Guest speakers recount stories of personal failures.

Why aren’t there more courses like that? As inventor Charles Kettering noted, “Failing is one of the greatest arts in the world.”

Failure, an art??? Not in today’s world! With the emphasis on productivity, failure must be avoided at all costs.

How shortsighted. Trying to avoid messing up is a sure path to mediocrity. But those aiming for Greatness never shy away from possible defeat.

Henry Ford, Colonel Sanders, Walt Disney all went broke at least once before amassing millions. Lincoln lost 7 elections before becoming president. Einstein flunked math. Babe Ruth struck out 1330 times, more than any other major league player. Elvis Presley was fired from the Grand Ole Opry.

Professionally Successful – Financially Strapped! Oh My!

On the outside, she had it all together. A successful entrepreneur who made loads of money, dressed exquisitely, and lived in luxury.

But every morning she woke up feeling like “there’s ground glass in my gut.” Under her polished veneer, she was drowning in debt.

“I am making good money, but I have nothing to show for it,“ she told me. “I’m broke but nobody knows it.”

Our successful entrepreneur represents a raging epidemic—people who are professionally successful but financially strapped.

Most experts advocate budgeting as the best solution. But she had tried repeatedly to follow a budget, only to fail miserably.

The truth is, will power alone is never enough to stop compulsive behaviors. Because money isn’t the problem, but a symptom of something deeper.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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